it was a day at the beach

Cannon Beach - November 2009

I was expecting a much larger audience to the ceremonious day that was Saturday. No clouds, no rain, no wind. Sixty degrees, freckling sunshine, low tide, unsequestered stillness. Exquisite. 

yielding digression:

I had a conversation with a few people about the top three things that make us happy and one of the things that stuck out to me was someone's answer that one of his top three was the moment (and there have been several) when he has said "if this isn't happiness, I don't know what is." And honestly, I have had so many of those moments in the last four months, that I have ultimately lost count. I know it may sound like I am sugar-coating my transition to Portland, but with no agenda, I have never felt such an effortless, fulfilling, guiding, spiritually awakening, freeing, limitless and shaping experience. I would be lying if I didn't say there were those moments and sometimes, even those days, where I scare myself into thinking my life is not going in the direction it should, but I often quickly combat that with yoga, a new recipe, a visit to a bar with new friends, a walk in the woods or the beach and I remember why it is that I changed the course of my personal journey and forget the "should", think about the "could" and give thanks.

the beach:

Just me. Well, me and the dogs. Everyone is paired and I am actually happy not to be, at least at this particular moment, because I am free of noise and settled into the stillness and the personal joy of those around me; a little pip squeak, fiercely trying to outrun the twice-large kite slowly descending to the ground behind him, little dogs chasing each other in circles around their human counterparts, couples kissing on the driftwood, breaking waves that curl, flatten and curl again and a woman walking her red and regal parrot. Below me are the Jane Loves Joes' and the Joe Loves Janes', illegible quotes and my personal favorite, a large elephant. 

So artist, have your elephant.

post work post

What does one do after completing her work on a sunny, sixty degree Portland day?

She goes to the arboretum and touches spongy trees and walks her two yipper yappers.

 

She makes vegetable soup, hummus and cornbread from scratch.

She looks up at tall trees.

She washes the forest off of said yipper yappers.

And then she goes back to work realizing that she has it made in the shade.

hearty

A hearty weekend indeed! On Friday, my pal Jonathan and I tested the waters at the Planetarium at OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry) and saw Ice Worlds. Expecting a lot, based on some of the incredible shows I had seen at Reno's planetarium, which does not boast being the largest regional planetarium by the way, we were a bit disappointed with the experience. The show lasted maybe 30 minutes, cost $5.75 and although interesting and educational, was a little....amateurish in some parts, due to what we could only describe as over-animation. BUT, there is promise of redemption with an OMNIMAX (much like an IMAX I guess) feature called Deep Sea, which should offer a little more substance. Afterward we went to the winter farmer's market off Hawthorne and picked up some fresh veggies which turned into a phenominal pesto pasta. That boy can cook! I was also introduced to honey roasted hazelnuts which are like crack! They are madly delicious and potentially habit-forming.

Saturday could not have been better spent. Sara and I decided to get an early start and headed out at 9 for breakfast at Screen Door, a southern-styled and wildly popular breakfast spot. We waited appx. 45 min. which is standard. I have been told that the wait can sometimes crest 2 hours and I can understand why. My eggs sandou (eggs beni with creamed spinach and artichoke hearts) were spectacular and well worth the wait. I also sampled some of Sara's cheddar grits (which are common round these parts) and was pleasantly surprised.

Afterward, we went to SCRAP, a thrift craft supply store, and found a few treasures grand totaling $3.10, including an old cabinet door I plan on sanding and etch burning at some point. Cha ching! Afterward we went to Mill End Fabric Store, where the selection of fabrics instantly made my decision making abilities paralytic. I felt like a headless chicken running myself in circles around the same fabrics over and over and over again.

Just when I thought I couldn't come out of my fabric stroke, I found holy moly buttons. I love buttons and these were P.E.R.F.E.C.T for embelishments I like to add to the fabric pieces I make with ribbons. I also got craft supplies for the few DIY birthday presents that are coming up as well as a few "just because" projects that I can't wait to start. The sew bug has hit!

Sunday was perhaps the best commercially pushy holiday I have ever spent...alone and on purpose! I started by treating myself to heart shaped pancakes and the dogs to the heart-shaped Evo cookies they seem to love so much. Afterward we went for a little walk before I headed over to Audubon Care Center for their open house.

My friend Sara, who so generously volunteers her time there, gave me the insider's tour, which included a sample of meal prep: grains, dead mice (sorry i forgot to bring my camera), worms and another dead bird body (less the head for the larger species). I also got to see some beautiful birds, owls, falcons, raptors and crows up close. Then I saw some chopped up mouse parts in one of the falcon cages and suddenly got really hungry. So, after I left, I picked up some takeout, brie and anjou pears for later, a bottle of Syrah and my favorite chocolates, where I enjoyed some food, a nap, some wine, a very relaxing bath and some very crappy TV before heading to bed. And I wouldn't have had it any other way thanks to the martyred saint that has evoked the celebrated tradition of prescribed romance and or love; self, coupled, platonic or familial. 

The largely covered Feeling Good by My Brightest Diamond really says it all. Hope you all had a wonderful day.

a saint no doubt

Although the main highlight over the last week was most certainly seeing St. Vincent with Jena, I will say that keeping a full social calendar helps one from feeling so removed of personal contact, a side affect of working from home. Last week was as busy as the weekend. On Wednesday, Jena came over for an overdue girl's night, which mainly consisted of my experimentation with a couple new recipes (a new weekly fixture) and sifting through fabrics for a new sewing project. Although the corn cakes with avocado lime salsa were just so so, the caramelized apple crepes with hazelnuts were delightful. Think apple pie in a crepe. On Thursday, I met up with my friend Jonathan for dinner at Tin Shed and then we hopped from The Nest Bar on Alberta all the way down to Back Stage Bar off Hawthorne (I am starting to feel like I live there). On Friday, Jonathan came over and made one of the best veggie burritos I have ever had and we watched New York I Love You which was the sister film to Paris Je t'aime. The latter was certainly better. 

 

On Saturday, I had been invited to a "cocktail brunch" at Veritable Quandary downtown by someone I had met through a meet up and was lucky to meet some lovely new women and eat some delicious crab benedict. A very strange coincidence was that the girl, who I had seen on Thursday at The Nest sitting at the end of the bar was the same girl sitting next to me at brunch. Her gorgeous and recently acquired sleeve of large roses, which were wrapped with saran at the bar made her stand out. I am getting the itch for something permanent on my wrists maybe (perhaps a pair of Kokanee Salmon: an ugly fish to some, but representative of growing up in the Tahoe basin where they are endemic to the lake)....And the artists here are no amateurs! Later that evening, I picked up Jena and after dinner and we made our way to The Doug Fir to see St. Vincent. I could spend a great many pages describing what a wonderful performer she is, but instead, decided to simply say, GO and see her if you can. I promise you will be as enamored as every single person in the room who is transfixed by the talent that pours from her soul. She is quite simply incredible and that was the BEST performance I have seen since M. Ward. You have to love a girl who can, as Jena so accurately qualified it, shred. It's rare to find an artist who is even better live. GO!! And since I didn't take my camera, I thought I would just illustrate one of my favorite moments from the show. 

Sunday came and went and I dragged my butt to Sara and Jesse's to talk through the last 30 minutes of the game with Sara, neither one of us a football fan, and then made my way home a couple hours later. Yesterday was one of those extremely productive and good-for-the-soul kind of days. It was sunny, which generally means I pack up the dogs and take them to the arboretum, which is so grand in both scale and nature. Walking on the walnut trail made me feel like I was in an aviary. I don't think I have ever heard so many different kinds of birds all at once. The highlight was a woodpecker, an audible rarity for me and one that makes you feel like you are definitely in the woods. Today is shaping up to be another sunny day (two in a row is something to celebrate). I can't emphasize enough what this weather has done to and for me. After living a life of Reno winters (which always seemed to creep into my bones) and surviving a Minnesota winter (which I maintain isn't so bad, but is definitely extremely cold, often very snowy and waaaaay too long) and now walking around in a sweatshirt in 55+ degree weather every day in spring-type weather in February is a lot to be grateful for, especially when the sun shines. I feel so lucky and satisfied with this climate.

It's strange to get the feeling of a seasonal change, which is ALWAYS euphoric, so early on, especially when you can no longer relate to how your friends are living through negative below and feet of snow. Don't think I could go back to that. 

Back to work now. There are bills to pay. Tuesdays have quickly become my favorite day because I have yoga to look forward to (I haven't missed a class in over a month)! I think I like it.

shoot em' up bang bang

What a lovely weekend. I somewhat remember what those are like. For those 9-5ers, they are ritualized, sacred and necessary. For those anytime to anytimers, they are just another day with a few more people hangin' around. BUT, I actually felt like part of the worshiping folk this time around. Likely, it was just guilt by association, but it was nice to appreciate it for once because I think I have been starting to take it for granted.

On Saturday, Jena and I had a superb Italian meal at Sub Rosa, an intimately small, casual yet sophisticated little joint on Clinton. Afterward, we attended a play called Truth and Beauty which was a collaborative adaptation of Ann Patchett's memoir, titled the same. Jena's friend Betsy co-collaborated the script and starred as Ann. There was a three person cast and minimal props and virtually no set and it was amazing; courageous performances, on-point comedic execution, thoughtfully integrated dance and most importantly, it felt personal. Wow. Actors are incredible.

And then on Sunday, after a day spent working on concept mock-ups for a job submission for THE JOB of my personal lifetime, Sara, Jesse and I met up with their friend Danny for a drink and then made our way across the river to Back Stage Bar (my new personal favorite bar of bars) for some freebie pool and a couple pitchers of IPA. Although not at my best, I will say that I will always be up for pool.

So, the lesson is that the weekend can still be the "weekend" even when you're self employed because it is to other people who aren't. However, I think I'm game to get out of the house on a daily basis so fingers crossed friends!

in towners

I had a very eventful last few days with visitors in town. My friend Pepper, visiting her family in Truckee, from the authentic outback of Australia and her best friend Rya, a former and future Portland resident, took a road trip to visit the city of roses among others. With home base being my place of residence and a bit removed of the ebb and flow of the city, we commuted to enjoy some absolutely AMAZING new restaurants and incorporated a lot of shopping and sightseeing. On Saturday, I had a sewing class with Sara and Jena and was promptly greeted by my new house guests before we all headed out for dinner and then a little dancing at Whiskey Bar in downtown to one of their favorites, Plump DJs, dawned locally and from the UK I think.

Although Jena and I are not heart-swooned dance music enthusiasts, we managed to shake it for what we thought was the best of the DJs, who to the present crowd were very well-known and loved. I will say that it is nice to see dancing to this type of music because it transcends the typical and often disgusting bump-n-grind you typically see at most clubs to top-40 muck. It was a fun night out, but I have to say that being dubbed the Whiskey Bar, you'd think the drinks, especially the whiskey mixed drinks, wouldn't be so damned weak. Yuck.

Sunday and Monday were a composite of eating and shopping. There is definitely nothing wrong with that, except when you have self-prohibited the purchase of anything outside of the necessary essentials, which does not include books, jewelry, clothes, purses, high end skin care products, shoes and well, I could go on but it just makes my shopping bone twitch. I was good, but my when-i-have-a-job-i-will-buy-this-that-and-the-other list is exponentially growing by the day. I better hop to it. Karma, do your thing. I am due. I got splashed in the face by a car with dirty, oily street water and was soaked.  My mouth was open; I think I'm done for a while.

I also fell in love with a really AWESOME bar off Hawthorne called Back Stage Bar which is also a pool hall. They have free pool every Tuesday and Sunday. Will anyone come play with me? The bartender rocked my world (don't get too excited, it was a girl...no really, don't get too excited) and the venue was amazing. For those not familiar, it was a McMenamins, which is a chain of pubs and restaurants of old restored hospitals, schools, theaters, barns etc. They convert historical landmarks to these venues and the Back Stage Bar was the actual backstage of the Bagdad Theatre at one time, which is now also an active movie theater and restaurant.

My new and most favorite of favorites was certainly the Tin Shed and Vita, both on Alberta (a place I had completely forgotten existed until Rya re-introduced me). And I am so thankful she did. I am not a huge bloody mary drinker, but Vita's Bloody Maria with pickled green beans was really really tasty. And I thought the twin cities was all about their bloodies. Biscuits and gravy are a big thing too, offering very specialized gravies: almond, rosemary, mushroom and so on. Really yummy with potato cakes that are baked with this delicious cream inside and out-of-this-world veggie sausage. K. I'm hungry.

I have a tea date with a new friend on Thursday which is also on Alberta at Townshend. This week, I will have visited that street four times. Although my very smart friend was probably right about how I should have moved to the NE where everything I have very quickly grown to love is, I am happy in my little hidden forest village that another very intuitive friend has dubbed a retirement community. I don't think I can bargain the yoga and the machine that so thoughtfully washes my clothes. I have grown very very attached.

more photos on my flickr as usual

it's about time

Maybe only a few of you know, but I have been dueling a little bit with flying solo since I moved from Minneapolis. This weekend was one that may have soothed my heart. For the first time, in a very very very long time, I was more than fine with being alone, I embraced it. My mother always used to say a common Czech proverb that translates to something like, "whomever your heart belongs to, also belongs the weekend." And this weekend, I found that I fell a little bit in love with myself. I know that may sound a little strange and probably extremely narcissistic and self-centered, for anyone who doesn’t know me well, but this was a substantial breakthrough.

Rarely, and only to do more productive and fulfilling tasks, I barely left my computer and worked my ass off this weekend. I designed, for my clients, for my friends and for myself. I knocked out several projects and was inspired through it all. I am not sure if it is the feeling of some creativity and passion and hope and FEELING coming back, but I feel more alive now than I have in a long time. I think I am finally starting to remember who I am.

And with the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction comes the concept of reward. Mine was an apple tart which came with vanilla bean ice cream and was the soft punctuation to a day well lived.

I thank my stars for the french shortcrust pastry recipe that makes my world go round.

And while I am thankful, I wish to express how much I appreciate my space and that it offers me a place to bolster change, to illicit inspiration and to work with purpose.

The free yoga classes don't hurt either.

Certainly not one of their favorite things in the world, but necessary from time to time, the dogs got their act cleaned up a bit too.









I hope to keep the momentum and wrap up some work next week so I can fully enjoy the company that is coming next weekend. Although it is a relief to know that "alone" is not a dirty word, I am very excited to share the company of some very inspiring people next weekend.